Monthly Archives: October 2013

When Baptists Take Over Chick-Fil-A

Some changes that we will make when we Baptists take over Chick-Fil-A.

1.  We will replace “my pleasure” with “you’re in my seat”. 

2.  No more cash registers.  We will use offering plates held tightly by grim faced men looking disappointed if you don’t dig deep.

3.  We will change the recipe for the chicken sandwiches.  If it tastes that good, doesn’t it have to be immoral in some way?

4.  Our personnel committee will recommend cutting the salaries of the cows, citing poor spelling as one reason.

5.  We will ban the use of mustard in the store, citing “the incident” from the most recent youth lock-in.

6.  New motto- “Free sermon with any purchase!”

7.  We will definitely open on Sundays!

What DO Missionaries Do?!

Good thoughts from Vickie Munton. (And a great video from Dr. Roy Fish.)

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“Why would anyone want to do that?”

“What do they actually DO?”

“Why would they go so far away from home?”

“How long will they be gone?”

The questions are endless, and most of the time I get excited for the chance to tell others about my missionary children. Other times I can be a little vague in my answers because some questions don’t have short answers–and the truth is, I’m not sure they really want to hear the whole story.

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For those of you that are curious, I’m going to share a snippet of this life-changing journey so you can see a little of how something like this happens.

My husband felt like God was calling him into full-time ministry when he was in college (and before we were married), and so after college he attended Southwestern Theological Seminary in Ft. Worth, Texas.  For almost 30 years he has…

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Why Johnny Can’t Witness

10 reasons Johnny can’t share his faith with others.

1. Those video games won’t play themselves.

2. Really, witnessing seems like a lot of work.

3. What if someone gets saved who isn’t elect?

4. What if someone gets re-saved?

5.  What if someone gets re-saved who wasn’t elect the first time? Continue reading

Why Johnny Can’t Tithe

10 Reasons Johnny can’t give generously to God’s work through his local church.

1.  He is saving for a rainy day.

2.  He is saving for a sunny day.

3.  He is saving for a day that is both rainy and sunny.

4.  Two words: Disney World. Continue reading

If McDonald’s Was Run Like a Baptist Church

10 changes that would happen if McDonald’s was run like a Baptist church-

1.  Customers would have to get prior, written approval from the Committee on Committees to super-size.

2.  One side of the arches would be golden, the other teal to satisfy differing opinions on the Colors Committee.

3.  The new McDonald’s opening two blocks away would take half the employees and customers and be called “Unity McDonald’s”. Continue reading

Lessons learned from Dr. Roy Fish

   I said at the funeral for Dr. Roy Fish last year that I believed him to be the most beloved seminary professor in the history of the Southern Baptist Convention.  I’ve thought of him often in the last year and wanted to note some lessons he still teaches.

Lesson 1-  Talent gets you admired; goodness gets you loved. Continue reading

Why Me, God?

Maybe you have asked God that question. It is commonly asked of the Lord, I suspect. “Why is this happening to me?” we cry out to God. But why do we ask that question only when facing problems? Why don’t we ask that question when we are blessed? Isn’t it just as legitimate to ask the question “why?” when good things happen to us as when bad things happen? Continue reading