Some changes that we will make when we Baptists take over Chick-Fil-A.
1. We will replace “my pleasure” with “you’re in my seat”.
2. No more cash registers. We will use offering plates held tightly by grim faced men looking disappointed if you don’t dig deep.
3. We will change the recipe for the chicken sandwiches. If it tastes that good, doesn’t it have to be immoral in some way?
4. Our personnel committee will recommend cutting the salaries of the cows, citing poor spelling as one reason.
5. We will ban the use of mustard in the store, citing “the incident” from the most recent youth lock-in.
6. New motto- “Free sermon with any purchase!”
7. We will definitely open on Sundays!