Looking for some simple ideas on how you can be a knucklehead? Well, you’ve come to the right place. Follow these 10 simple steps and you will be well on your way to the exciting world of life as a knucklehead. Good luck on your wonderful adventure! (Good thing I didn’t mention sarcasm as one of the steps.)
1. Write snarky emails, letters and responses. (Bonus points for writing them with the shield of anonymity. Double bonus points for mockery used while anonymous.)
2. Respond to mean emails while still angry.
3. Don’t give others the benefit of the doubt.
4. Be angry when others don’t give you the benefit of the doubt.
5. Consider nuances in the tones of the voice of others who talk with you. They must say the
right things in the right way.
6. Don’t allow others to consider your tone of voice when responding to you. Demand that they only note what you say, not how you said it.
7. Make fun of others. (Bonus points for making fun of someone in the presence of others. Double bonus points for public humiliation of family members.)
8. Hold grudges. (Triple bonus points for continuing to hold grudges after you forgot what the original grudge was.)
9. Talk, but don’t listen. Demand that all conversations revolve around you; that every story be trumped by your stories. (Bonus points for interrupting. Double bonus points for responding to people who talk to you with, “Huh, were you still talking? That reminds me…”)
10. Live as though the world should revolve around your wishes and whims. (Bonus points for throwing fits when it doesn’t.)
Dr. Munton, this would make a great sermon. The challenge being it would take a year to cover all ten points. By the way, have I told you yet about what happened to me last week. .. and last month. Dr. Munton you would not believe bla, bla, bla.